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Presents

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Mindi (my 10 year old) brought in a big brush and started brushing my back. She looked at the brush and said, "There's skin all over it, you lousey lizard!" I left the room, she stayed behind and began to sing, "Ninety-nine brushes of skin on the wall, ninety-nine brushes of skin...." I groaned, "Oh, boy..." She poked her head around the corner and said, "Well, it's YOUR fault... YOU "gened" me!"
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My fourteen year old son was checking his face in the mirror, looking for signs of beard. My L.P., Mary was walking by (L.P. stands for Life Partner, appropriate to the term Long Playing). He told her, "I think I have a five o'clock shadow." She gazed closely, then said, "I'll give you 3:30 maybe, but not a minute more."
Mindi asked what a five o'clock shadow was. Mary explained. Then I said, "Can you imagine what it was like at the beginning of transition when I was working at that job for twelve hours a day? For the last six hours I always had beard shadow sticking up out of my makeup. Can you imagine what that was like?" My son replied, "It's you."
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Mindi philosophying on double standards between oneself and others:
"You know, the problem is: you don't let other people get away with things, but you let yourself get away with things."
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Melanie to Keith about diets: "My writing partner Chris once said about diets, 'A waist is a terrible thing to mind.' "
Keith: "It figures one of you would come up with something like that."
Melanie: "That's just because we've evolved."
Keith: "Don't you mean 'mutated'?"
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